A typical Sunday afternoon at the Purple Elephant Bar and Grill in Laurel, Maryland would consist of copious amounts of beer, chicken wingettes doused in various sauces and Redskin football. This Sunday, however, as the 'Skins face the Atlanta Hawks, the patrons will be tuning in to "When Genitals Collide - the Caster Semenya story".
The Elephants owner, Joe Rockaway, grew tired of watching the team he's supported for 30 years play like "a bunch of broads." After watching The Redskins lose 6-14 to the Kansas City Chiefs, Rockaway turned the channel and in a fit of anger, stomped on his remote control. The television was stuck on Lifetime. Soon after, patrons became engrossed in the drama unfolding in the made for tv movie "What Part of 'I'm Not Your Mother' Don't You Understand?" starring Meredith Baxter.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Kate Hudsons Vagina Cures Cancer
BETHESDA, MD - Doctors at the National Institutes of Heath believe to have made an important breakthrough in developing a cure for cancer.
The treatment, discovered within the vaginal walls of actress Kate Hudson, has managed to kill cancer cells at a rapid rate.
"We've found that patients were not only going into remission but also able to hit a baseball in the month of October." Says Dr. April. "The downside is they do an excessive amount of unnecessary spitting."
Steve Phillips Fired Because His Mistress Was Ugly
ESPN Fires Phillips After Sex Scandal
ESPN Baseball analyst Steve Phillips got his walking papers after his tryst with a psychotic, portly production assistant, Brooke Hundley, was exposed by the New York Post.
In a case of a real life Fatal Attraction, Hundley, 22, sent Phillips' wife, who is actually attractive, disturbing letters as well as sending inappropriate messages to the couples children via Facebook.
In a prepared statement, ESPN spokesman Josh Krulewitz says "Steve Phillips is no longer working for ESPN. His ability to be an effective representative for ESPN has been significantly and irreparably damaged, and it became evident it was time to part ways."
An anonymous insider at ESPN insists that the main reason for Phillips' firing was that "Steve's mistress just wasn't cute enough and it was an embarassment to broadcasting and philanderers all over the world"
ESPN Baseball analyst Steve Phillips got his walking papers after his tryst with a psychotic, portly production assistant, Brooke Hundley, was exposed by the New York Post.
In a case of a real life Fatal Attraction, Hundley, 22, sent Phillips' wife, who is actually attractive, disturbing letters as well as sending inappropriate messages to the couples children via Facebook.
In a prepared statement, ESPN spokesman Josh Krulewitz says "Steve Phillips is no longer working for ESPN. His ability to be an effective representative for ESPN has been significantly and irreparably damaged, and it became evident it was time to part ways."
An anonymous insider at ESPN insists that the main reason for Phillips' firing was that "Steve's mistress just wasn't cute enough and it was an embarassment to broadcasting and philanderers all over the world"
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